by Altazar Rossiter
- Do some situations leave you drained?
- Do some people exhaust you?
- Does your energy leak away?
In the world of popular media energy management is about optimising fuel usage. And it so happens that we haven’t been doing this very well for a long time. What we know now is that what we have been doing is detrimental to our environment and to ourselves. That’s not what this article is about, but I raise it because it’s a clear reflection of what’s going on inside ~ As without, so within; as within, so without.
Everything in the Universe is energy manifesting in one form or another. That includes you and me. However, few of us have looked at how we manage our energy – the vital energy that comprises your being. There’s no consensual language to validate it, so as a concept it gets relegated to the realm of the airy-fairy. But managing our vital energy is crucial to our well-being, and it so happens that we’ve not been doing this very well for a long time either.
There’s no particular personal blame associated with this. It’s never been explicit as part of conventional everyday reality, but you live with the effects continually. The idea of vital energy isn’t widely accepted outside the arena of personal / spiritual development, where it often rests upon spurious amalgamations of metaphysics and quantum physics.
Notwithstanding the elusive nature of this subject, you know what I’m talking about if you answered ‘Yes’ to any of the three questions at the beginning of this article.
THE INFLUENCE OF THE COLLECTIVE
Those questions are about your ability to disentangle yourself from the reactivity, the projections and the emotional reactivity of others. There’s an impulse – an obligation almost – to engage in all of that collective emotional drama. If you’re at all sensitive, that compulsion will be close to irresistible. This is what leaches your energy away. It will be like pollution in the air you breathe without knowing it’s there, and it will shape much of your emotional landscape.
In addition to the emotional toxicity of the environment you are also faced with the practice of co-dependency. This is the fundamental blueprint for interpersonal relationships that masquerades as the appropriate way to experience intimacy and love. In actuality it’s a structure that enables us to drain each other’s energy. [You can recognise this from its founding principles: I’ll be nice to you, if you’ll be nice to me, and If you loved me you’d give me everything I want from you without question]. Some people are expert at this and will feed off the sensitivity of others until the supply is cut off.
The main thing you can do to eliminate the stresses of living in this kind of emotionally draining environment is to learn to manage your vital energy. That’s all very well, but where do you start. I’m going to suggest something radical in this respect. But before I do I want to acknowledge the value of any practice that brings you inner peace and connects you with the natural flow of your well-being.
So, what is it that you can do to begin the process of managing your vital energy?
Potentially the most effective thing you can do is accept the fact that there’s immense pain, sadness and conflict in the world, that you despair under the weight of it. And it’s ok.
You despair because you are sensitive. Trying to find a way not to feel it, trying to find a way to fix it, finding ways to turn off your sensitivity, numb out or protect yourself, looking to escape from the painful realities of human existence are all examples of self-rejection. They’re essentially a rejection of your own sensitivity, which is a rejection of yourself.
When you accept the reality of the pain and dysfunction you sense in your environment you are no longer a victim of it. This acceptance will shift the core vibration at which you function in the world. It will empower any other practice you adopt that helps you stay centred and integrated.
This is not about being unfeeling or selfish, it’s about taking care of yourself. It’s ok to be centred and at peace when all is chaos around you, because by holding that vibration you influence the collective field. This in turn provides the maximum support for those in the middle of the chaos. It refuses them the position of victim and facilitates the possibility of their empowerment.
Your energy follows your intent. If your intent is not engaged your energy field will be scattered. Managing your energy is primarily a matter of training your field with your intent, and getting used to using your intent. A few simple ways to begin to do this are as follows:-
- Give yourself permission to be sensitive by affirming:
It’s ok for me to be sensitive.
My sensitivity is an asset. It serves me by showing me when I need to take care of myself and when I’ve failed to do that.
- When you feel your energy is being drained, remove yourself from the situation. This may not be possible in a physical sense, but you can come back to yourself by taking a deep breath in and imagining that your entire energy field comes inside you with your breath. It can help if you place one hand on your heart when you do this.
- When you feel your energy being drained in a co-dependent personal interaction it can be very effective to place your hands together in some unobtrusive way and internally say to yourself: I claim my energy for myself now, I bless you [the other person] in the flow of your own well-being whatever that might be and I give you permission to feel your feelings.
- It can also be very freeing to focus on a person who is giving you grief and say to internally: I give you permission to have a bad day. You might want to be careful about saying this aloud, though.
Comprehensive, compassionate and authoritative, Developing Spiritual Intelligence is not a quick-fix by-the-numbers book but the outcome of years of practical workshops and help on a one-to-one basis. Make friends with yourself, connect with your soul and watch your life unfold. This is the book you’ve been waiting for without realizing it.