We are all intuitive lovers. Intuition is instinctive knowing. No one could teach you how to kiss. After all kissing is different for every couple and different from one movement of the lips and mouth to the next. The sexual attraction between people can be so tangible you can almost breathe it. Yet on other occasions we wonder if it’s wishful thinking or our imagination.
Intuition is the key to controlling much of the anxiety that lack of answers from our partner can cause in a relationship, but also feeling that we can trust ourselves even over our partner through our intuition allows us to open our hearts.
Intuitive lovers takes you on a journey to trust your intuition from first encounters with a possible partner, detailing how to use intuition from Internet dating to long term conscious loving.
REVIEWS & ENDORSEMENTS
There is sunshine in the horizon as I sit down to interview the author of perhaps one of the most groundbreaking books to come my way. The book is Intuitive Lovers, by Becky Walsh and I liken it to the brilliant work by Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth. This book is the missing chapter of A New Earth, perhaps the most important chapter, delving deeper into how our intuition, our awareness, is germane to our sex lives, and how intimately we are all connected on a vibrational level. This is a high compliment, as A New Earth is a book which moves mountains! After reading A New Earth, one must change, staying the same is not an option...that is a revolution! Becky Walsh taught intuition at the College of Psychic Studies in London, has a radio show on LBC 97.3FM, works as an intuitive therapist, and a life coach, helping people to develop their consciousness. She is candid, sharp, quite accessible, and, oh yes, hilarious!
To get the ball rolling, I must know what inspired this book, what was the defining moment? To this, Becky says, that there were three defining moments which brought about Intuitive Lovers, one being that she felt that she kept saying the same things to clients in session. It became like a broken record, and she decided to put it all in a book, suggest the clients read it, and then refer to that body of knowledge in therapy.
Secondly, she had always prided herself on being "an amazing lay," learning many tricks of the trade about the male appendage from gay friends, and was shocked to be told by an acupuncturist partner that she was too much in her...well, you can use your imagination, (or better yet, read the book!). Becky was scoring points on being a technical lover, in reality was not making love, but was making actions. She attributes this to "finding difficulty in being a woman, struggling to be sensual."
The third catalyst for Intuitive Lovers was an assessment of society. We are all born with intuition, yet as we develop linguistic skills, we are able to communicate with words, and technology has absolved us of the need for many of our innate intuitive abilities. Becky says she used to drive her car down a road to the end; not knowing whether to turn left or right, but always instinctively figured it out. Now we use technology for everything, even to find our mates.
So then, what stands in our way to finding our perfect mate? One of the culprits is ego. Becky believes that we awaken every day in a perfect state, that there is nothing we need to do define ourselves. On this she adds, "The ego is seeking enlightenment, but it is about seeking not finding." Says Becky, "It's crazy in a way, but the ego will die if it finds enlightenment. We believe that we need to get rid of the ego...the only way to get rid of it is to embrace it...Stop putting energy into our negative emotions...I love the fact that I need to get my fat ass to the gym! To be one with living, doing human things, I love that!"
Becky refers to something called The Pain Body, a force Tolle presents in his book as well. I recall this topic from Oprah Winfrey's first-ever online course, which she hosted in order to help people understand Tolle's book and message. A tremendous amount of attention was spent on this chapter. People with an over-active Pain Body can unknowingly sabotage everything which is dear to them. If someone acts out often, they probably have an active Pain Body.
Often people will avoid relationships to avoid being hurt. "Avoiding pain is an avoidance of life itself. Everything works on polarity...in order to feel pleasure you must be able to feel pain. It's like any other emotion. If you turn down hurt on a volume dial to say, 6, you also turn down love to a 6 as well...if you cut off pain you also cut off love...."
In her own experience with men, Becky admits to dating hordes of "sh*tbags, and always knew they were going to be." After asking clients when they actually discovered that men they dated were "sh*tbags," they too, knew right away! She says, "A person tells you who they are, but we never listen." In retrospect she understands that when her younger brother was born, her mother began to "prioritize" him, and she dated losers so that she could be right. Her grandmother told her that "all men were bastards," so when she finally started dating nice men, she was angry when they gave her foot massages while watching Grey's Anatomy, because they ruined her perception.
There is a lengthy look into the world of "kink" in Intuitive Lovers, so much, in fact, that Becky was uninvited to a book signing at East-West Bookstore in Seattle! Quite frankly, the only part of the "kink" which is shocking is how it presented to the reader without judgment. Becky laughs saying, "that many people view kink as nasty ego gratification of power over people, yet it is actually power TO people; if being bent over a chair and spanked is not heads down toward enlightenment!"
Intuitive Lovers is revealing, while reading it, I had many "A-Ha Moments" as I thought back to my last relationship, and behavior over the last twenty years. It also opens the mind to emotions, and how to take responsibility for them alone and in a union. After all, thoughts become things, and what we resist persists! For more information check out Becky's website www.intuitiveovers.com, and the book is available on Amazon! ~ Angela Olsen The Resident Newspaper
My first impression of the book from its cover created intrigue as to what possibility intuitive lovers could be all about as it reveals nothing of what is written inside. This book certainly covers it all from finding a partner to exploring sexual practices and alternative viewpoints, what to do when relationships are going wrong and a whole lot more… Presented in parts, the author offers sound advice on how to let our intuition work for us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the relationships we would like to experience and identifying those which are no longer serving our physical, emotional and spiritual growth. Truly a book full of ideas, suggestions and explanations that challenges us to trust our instincts, open our hearts and embrace our conscious loving connection called Intuitive Love. A well worth read. ~ Caroline Small, Mercury
The book Intuitive Lovers tells us that we are all intuitive lovers. Intuition, is instinctively knowing. Knowing that we can or canâ€™t trust this partner; knowing that a particular partner is safe for us. Most of us fail to listen to our intuition; we are fearful of our intuition because it doesnâ€™t tell us what we want to hear. We brush it off like it was a piece of lint on our jacket. We wonder if our intuition is just our imagination or wishful thinking on our part.
Becky Walsh taught intuition at the College of Psychic Studies in London. She has a radio show on LBC 97.3FM, and works as an intuitive therapist and a life coach helping people to develop their consciousness. She is candid, sharp, quite accessible, and has a great sense of humor! Her other books are Advanced Psychic Development, published by O Books and Haunted West End Theatres with Ian Shillito. Becky gives talks and does workshops around the world and even performs her own unique show blending intuition, philosophy, spirituality and stand-up comedy.
One of the catalysts for Intuitive Lovers was an assessment of society. In the book, it states that we are all born with intuition, yet as we develop linguistic skills, and are able to communicate with words, our intuition seems to take a back seat then technology was born and it seems to have absolved us of the need for many of our intuitive abilities.
We can use driving for example. We used to figure out where we were going by instinct and now technology is used to guide us to our destination. We have saved some time, if the GPS is working correctly, but we lose our instinctive skills. We use technology for so many things now days, even to find a mate. It is tough to trust your instincts when you havenâ€™t used them in so many years.
This book was written with an open mind; it doesnâ€™t make judgments or have opinions about the different aspects of sexuality in the world. They are all considered normal and natural, which is refreshing. Everything that is covered in the book seems to be covered in a matter-of-fact way. It covers so many aspects of dating and is brave enough to challenge the truth that has been swallowed for too long. The author is bold enough to print that the news and society as a whole are wrong in that their truth of not being able to find â€œgood peopleâ€ and being fearful is not necessarily â€œyour truth.â€ Becky is courageous in challenging us to stop the opposite sex bashing through email and jokes and to think before we forward those on to others. We have a family made of different genders and bashing one or the other only makes it tough to love each other in the end.
I highly endorse this book as it is well written, open minded and completely challenges us in ways we may be uncomfortable with in our sexual society. It is self-assured, poised and confident in its message. Pick up a copy today! ~ F.C Boyd, www.Bookpleasures.com
AUTHOR BECKY WALSH ON ENLIGHTENMENT THROUGH SEX
Wednesday, April 28 2010 18:01
What do you get when you bring spirituality into the bedroom? You get sexy. According to Becky Walsh, an author, radio presenter, inspirational teacher and public speaker, exchanging the ego, or analytical mind, for the spiritual and intuitive body, you'll have more connection and intensity in your relationships both with yourself and your lover(s). That's right - maybe even more lovers than one at a time. You can even bring a whip into the bedroom and "be ready to open our minds and see if there is more to life and love that we could be exploring" as she writes in a recent article in Om Magazine (in print only). Walsh is well known in the UK for her work as an intuitive transpersonal life coach and has brought the sexy to spirituality with a new book called Intuitive Lovers. This book bridges her work in consciousness and spirituality to sex and relationships, including polyamory and kink as vehicles to explore greater consciousness. To Walsh, sex is much more than just body parts rubbing together but instead a state of energetic bliss and oneness. A spiritual state. She says, "Relationships are one of our greatest tools towards enlightenment." So much for celibacy being the road to godliness.
Dscriber asked Walsh a few questions about her new book, and what the world might look like if people were to take its words to heart.
D: What motivated you to write your latest book, Intuitive Lovers?
BW: In my work as an intuitive therapist, I found myself repeating the same information to a number of clients. Mostly these clients were women from the age of 25 to 55. All of whom were having problems finding relationships or feeling that they were really in love with a partner. I've found that many of these women were in their analytical mind thinking about relationships rather than being connected to the body and their inner knowing. The analytical mind is very good at telling you what is wrong, so all assessment of potential dates and current relationships were being viewed negatively. This is because the ego is the monkey mind. The ego doesn't really want is to recognize love because we would no longer need the ego if we were coming from the more loving part of who we are. Relationships are our greatest learning tool at being able to and do aspects of the ego. It is easy to feel love while we are on our own in meditation. Being able to be a loving person when you are being triggered by someone else's actions is the most spiritual you could be. We are, in a way, two people communicating from the same body. We have a choice as to whether we communicate in relationships from our ego or our loving self. The book Intuitive lovers gives people steps and ideas on how to be able to decide upon relationships from a more intuitive place. Through intuition we can trust ourselves to make good decisions about love as it brings us back to the body and back into a feminine energy. Analyzing relationships will not bring to people closer. But we all want to feel safe in love. This book isn't just for women, in fact most of the praise letters I have received so far are from men. Many of these letters have said that I have stepped into the man's way of thinking and explained it perfectly. Hearing that has made me very happy.
There was a second reason why I needed to write the book, which turned the book from being purely a relationship book to also being one about sex. It stemmed from a post-coital comment, â€œyou are too much in your clitorisâ€ which my lover said to me. I was totally floored. And it started the journey for me to realize that my sex life had become all about gratification rather than connection. The more I dug into this subject and talked about it with my friends the more I saw a need at this book to expand into looking at all aspects of sexual connection.
D: If you could transfer one key piece of knowledge directly from the book into our readers' minds, what would it be?
BW: There seems to me to be our society based blueprint on how your life is supposed to be. This blueprint also is telling us how our most personal interactions need to be. We all have different wants and needs and we all don't fit into the society viewpoint of what is 'normal'. Because of this, it is very easy to us to judge other people and allow our inner thoughts to be negative against ourselves. When we remain in our analytical mind thinking about how to make the right choices we are at a level of disconnect with the one part of ourselves that we can truly trust. This part of ourselves is our inner knowing. You don't have to trust somebody else to make you feel confident about opening your heart when you can trust yourself. When you trust yourself to make good decisions, it's very easy to open your heart. Getting back into the body and back into our inner knowing and letting go of our thoughts is the way forward to having deeply open connections with people we love. This process even opens the door to new love.
D: You indicate that spirituality and sexuality can be intertwined, but so many of the worldâ€™s religions emphasize separating the two through forms of celibacy, especially for many of the most important religious leaders. How do you feel that sex and spirituality can merge, and what might that mean for a couple who really just wants to have a better time in bed?
Many spiritual religious teachings embraced the idea of celibacy. Connection to other people through sex is seen as a distraction from attaining enlightenment. How enlightened is that argument? The idea of sex and sexuality is one of the most judged aspects of human life. My own questioning started when I interviewed a client of mine for my book â€˜Intuitive Loversâ€™. She is a professional dominatrix; I was trying to discover the roles of the masculine and the feminine energy within her work. She mentioned to me that there is a certain amount of nurturing after a play session, known as â€œafter-careâ€. A play session can vary but often involves the stereotype of spanking. She told me that after the play session often the person will have some kind of emotional epiphany. This is also true for other bodywork practitioners. Massage therapists have reported that their clients may have memories of childhood come up after a session. People who have received a Reiki treatment or other energy work, they may have an emotional out pouring about two days after the event.
Relationships are one of our greatest tools towards enlightenment. When you can feel triggered by your lover's actions and continue to love over your ego, you really are on the road to enlightenment. This doesnâ€™t mean that we donâ€™t react to abuse. It means that we can take ownership of what triggers our emotional responses and know that not everything is caused by our partner. Nothing will ruffle the feathers more than love. To be able to be in a long-term relationship where we have great partnership which focuses upon our own and our partnerâ€™s spiritual growth we can truly have everything. However you may lose the passion in the bedroom. One way to bring it back is to embrace perhaps the secret that the dominatrix knows and the shaman always knew; that unless we embrace the role of the masculine and feminine or the dominant and submissive then we use the polarity which equals great sex.
D: Can you explain what you mean by "spiritual kink"?
BW: I discovered that there is a form of spirituality in everything including kink. After all the submissive and dominant roles being played in kink session very much reminds me of the variations of being in service and without ego that we aspire to in spiritual teachings.
For me, exploring our kinky sexual nature allows us to face our fears and judgments. It gives us a platform to bring about sustainable spirituality in a long-term relationship and possibly even makes us more balanced parents. We donâ€™t have to run out and buy ourselves a paddle and a whip. We just have to be ready to open our minds and see if there is more to life and love that we could be exploring. Spirituality is in every aspect of love. Itâ€™s behind our intention behind everything that we do. Being spiritual alone and unconnected to people is easy. Itâ€™s bringing it into your community, your work place and into your relationship that is the real test of a loving heart.
D: Fast forward 100 years. What do you think American (and, if you like, beyond the US) sexual culture might look like? Best case and worst case scenario.
BW: I'm a great believer that we are moving forward into a time when consciousness will shift. I believe that we will get to the stage where we can move out of the ego and into a more loving aspect and higher levels of consciousness. This is the only way I believe that we can have world peace.
Albert Einstein once said: 'The problems that face us cannot be solved at the same level of consciousness that created them. What we need is a shift in consciousness'.
What the shift of consciousness looks like is very hard to explain but it is only my ego that will be able to put into words, as inner knowing has no words. So in the crude description I believe that we will no longer communicate through words but instead through our energy towards each other. I believe that sexual connection will be a pure form of expression of love. Possibly intercourse would be reserved only for making children as we were to find deeper ways of being able to fulfill sexual needs. I believe that sexual connection will not be reserved to one life partner, but we will feel love that is inclusive, not possessive. This does not mean that we will not have life partners but that our choice of partner will be governed by the person that we want to grow through life with. For many people currently being in a relationship is about limiting options rather than expanding them. This isn't a 1960s idea of free love, but a way of being able to feel the presence of God in another person bringing out the presence of God in yourself.
Of course there is the opposite idea that we might not shift consciousness, that we might stay working through our ego. The next hundred years would not fill me with optimism if you were still coming from a place of such imbalance. In this case I would believe that sex would be used as a tool of oppression. More talk of sexually transmitted diseases would create more fear. We would find ways of being able to have sex without human contact. It is even possible to use the Internet to arrange marriages. Making connections through statistics rather than emotions. Separation between people would become greater. When we do not have community we become weaker as people. There would be a rise in disease and illness and more control via ego led powerful governments. As I write this, I keep seeing images of George Orwell's 1984 when the couple get arrested are making love. ~ Cymbelina Jones, www.dscriber.com/denver/1633-author-becky-walsh-on-enlightenment-through-sex.html
Intuitive Lovers by Becky Walsh- John Hunt Publishing, Ltd.
Review by K.M. Fitzgerald
July 21, 2010
First, I must say that I thought that this would not be one genre that I would read. Then I discovered itâ€™s actually a guide. Maybe the title needs a revamp.
Anyway, this book, guide, uses intuitiveness, supernatural feelings, knowledge, and even explaining our own magnetic force fields. Now those I do believe in.
Ms. Walsh ties together ways to â€˜clean outâ€™ the negative baggage from oneâ€™s body and soul and helps us to move on in any relationship. Using the rules and non-rules of life, she delves into having a sexual relationship whether hetero, homo, or bi-sexual. Much of it is very helpful and easy to understand. It also teaches you how to clear the mind, make your sexual encounter more fruitful for you and your partner and take matters into your own hands instead of another.
â€œYou are the thinker of thoughts.â€ Wonderful quote. Using statements such as this makes the reader understand that they are in control and always should be. Take out the negativity, as it seems to spread to others, especially a possible partner. Positive thoughts and attitudes attract.
Headings such as Ego-self, Higher-self, Ego-Stroking Love, Turning Your Mind Off And Your Body On, Soul kissing, The Energy System Around The Body, and so on, will help the reader understand things their mom could never tell them, or wouldnâ€™t, and,
as part of the title suggests, Ms. Walsh uses intuition, empathy, and thought communication for people to understand them and use these forces of nature to perfect both lovemakingâ€¦and love. Which might even improve your entire being.
I learned quite a bit. I do love new information. ~ Kathy Fitzgerald Freelancer - Boston City Paper
This book has many helpful ideas. Ms. Walsh states, â€œTrusting and understanding your Intuition is the key to becoming fearless in the choice of relationship and people you allow into your life.â€ This is an important step in any relationship that many people skip.
There are different parts of the book that are important to each reader. One part discusses the different aspects of intuitive love. Other sections let the reader explore misunderstood sexual practices and viewpoints. The author made one comment that made me take notice. She said you should touch your lover where you think it will feel good. Most likely if it feels good to you it will feel good to your lover too.
One section addresses how to get a date and how to remove blocks that stop you from dating. She also discusses what it means to fall in love. There is another section that goes into detail of the many aspects of dreams and interpretation.
There are several exercises in the book for non-verbal communication, experiencing Chi, visualizations and removing distractions, and cutting the cords to past relationships. I recommend this book to anyone wanting to become more in tune with your partner. ~ Review by Dawn â€œBelladonnaâ€ Thomas, http://www.globalgoddess.org/oracle/beltane2010/book1
This is a brave, honest and groundbreaking book by a highly developed intuitive. It is also contemporary, reflecting the changing shape of relationships in the 21st century. Read it! ~ Malcolm Stern, Psychotherapist, Presenter of channel 4â€™s Made for Each Other and author of Falling in Love, Staying in Love
"With searing emotional honesty and humor, Becky Walsh shares her insights about sexuality and relationships. As a psychic, as a woman, and as an author, she has written a delicious book about intuition, love and sex. I love it!" ~ Laurie Nadel, Ph.D, best-selling author Sixth Sense: Unlocking Your Ultimate Mind Power; Executive Producer and Host, The Dr. Laurie Show
An inspiring open book, which makes you look at sex and relationships in a much deeper way. Full of humour and intuitive wisdom, quite sexy in parts too! ~ Tony Mortimer, Singer song writer (East 17)
Beckyâ€™s forthright approach hooks you and makes you look at your life and the world around you in a completely different way. ~ Chris Hawkins, BBC Radio Presenter